8 Tips for Sounding Like a Crazy Uncle in Any Debate

Occasionally we’re all on the wrong side of a debate, some more than others.  However, if you’re determined to be an insufferable clod in a debate then follow these simple tips.  Stick with it, and maybe someday a respected actor will parody you in a viral video.

1. Use anecdotes as concrete proof

Yeah, but I know as a fact that when I was unemployed that it was easy to get another well paying job.  If these lazy people would just try harder they wouldn’t be poor.

2. Bring a political slant into a debate where it doesn’t belong

Did you see the news story about the girl that was mauled to death by her golden retriever?  The dog was probably a typical liberal, unemployed and wanted more handouts from its owner.  Then it attacked when the entitlements weren’t enough.

3.  Use poor grammer and stuff

Their are some people determined to sound stupid irregardless of the quality of there arguments.

4. Project yourself onto your opponent

You’re a judgemental name-calling asshole.

5.  Attack the person instead of the debate 

It’s only because your parents raised you without any sense of morality that you support abortion.

6.  Know Everything

Well according to the second law of thermodynamics, there is no way that Justin Bieber will have another number one hit.

7.  Despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary, maintain your position

So yeah, vaccinations may not cause autism right now, I’m just sayin’ in a few years it’s likely.

8.  Correlation is always linked to causation

Damn, it’s cold outside.  Global warming my ass.

 

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You may reach me at jason.holland@reasonbowl.com Jason Holland is a hologram of an actual writer. He is the interdimensional representation of living earth here to tell tale of liberty of the human spirit. To bring an end to the age of reductionist materiality, superficial division, and egotism, and usher in the age of the idea, the age of reason, age of diplomacy, the age of spirit, the age of kindness and forgiveness. A hologram pushing the quantum vibrational fields into aligned rigidity of aware consciousness one quark at a time.

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