TERRIBLE NEWS: I HAVE THE CORONAVIRUS!

I was just informed I have cornavirus!

You can imagine how I felt when I was informed, and when the doctor told me I only had a 97% chance of living, I admit it, I’m a strong supple male, but I broke down in tears for a while upon hearing the news.

But actually the odds of living are better based on my age and other factors the risk is probably way less than 1%, and I might even return to normal next week, but still, a whole week of being sick? I was horrified.

They are in the process of shutting down the town I’m in and thank god, I’d hate it if this spread everywhere and we’d have to take a week off, I was a fool for taking this lightly.

And it’s a good thing the economy is reacting properly to this awful threat, which at present the Dow is down a couple thousand points in just this week. And, it’s really amazing how an economy that ignores huge other threats like climate change and the obliteration of the food web has now gauged this threat perfectly as a world altering pandemic. And, it’s most certainly not an economic false flag to hide the fact the economy has been on the brink of a collapse since 2008 and only through massive injections of central banking money in the form of quantitative easing and supplying massive funds to REPO markets, along with self-cannibalizing corporate stock buybacks that it was able to stay upright this long; and, this is not a red herring spin on an inevitable economic downturn, no, it’s not a broken corrupt financial system and a capitalist economic system in whole that’s incompatible with life on earth that is the issue, rather it’s that damn deadly virus. If it wasn’t for that virus the financial markets would be normal right now.

It’s also odd how the mainstream media so rarely talks about how unsustainable this way of life is and continuously downplays environmental threats but in no time at all this ever so deadly coronavirus threat makes headlines internationally. Funny irregularities, and I probably should dismiss them as kooky conspiracy theory, it’s not like bankers, billionaires, and those who own all the media outlets ever talk to each other or anything.

As for my health, and the health of financial markets, I guess we’ll see soon if it’s a blip or maybe it’s something more insidious. Time will tell.

If you don’t hear from me again, I’ll see ya on the flip side. I’ll stay strong for you my peeps.

(In a world of literalism it should be stated explicitly, I do not have coronavirus. Yet anyways, but I’m about 99% sure it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if I did.)

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Jason Holland

Contact at: jason.holland@reasonbowl.com

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